Wanderlust

Wanderlust  noun  "A strong, innate desire to rove or travel about".

Have you ever just had the urge to pick up and leave?

Maybe drive someone coastal and just walk around barefoot........feeling the grainy sand between your toes?

Or maybe, a desire to go to some remote cabin where you can build a monstrous bonfire and sip hot cocoa while you listen to the wood crackle. (ok....I must admit that this one is a little less desired during the month of October...creepy serial killers hunting you in the middle of nowhere? No thanks.)

I feel a little restless.

I want to have an amazing adventure.

You may not know this about me, but a huge part of me longs for the unexpected.

I am the girl that will try to pressure you to stay out just a little longer with me and go for a midnight IHOP run.

I am the friend that will convince you to skip town with me for the weekend....a weekend spent staying up late, laughing, eating, and sharing secrets, crushes, and stupid dramas.

I am a contradiction.

I long for stability, but I crave excitement and spontaneity.

I like to know where I stand with people, but I love for them to surprise me.


I love tough, brave guys; but I appreciate romantic softies that listen when I talk...and don't think I am crazy for crying at the end of Toy Story 3.


True story.

Sometimes I just want to veg on the couch while watching repeats of "Say Yes To The Dress". Other-times, I want to get all dressed up and have a rockin' dance party.

Sometimes, I feel that I get swallowed up in this great big world.

I feel that I am not reaching milestones that I should at this point in my life.

I feel that I am being lapped.


I look at where some of my friends are in their lives right now, and I feel that I am being left behind.

But you know what? That is okay.

I am working on finding my own version of happiness.....and I have to admit that my version is pretty darn great.

What works for one person will not work for me because I am different.

I have different goals, dreams, and expectations.

It's like what that old Lee Ann Womack song that is a staple on old radio stations says: 

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger 

May you never take one single breath for granted 

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small 

When you stand by the ocean 

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens 

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance 

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance 

I hope you dance I hope you dance 

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance 

Never settle for the path of least resistance 

Living might mean taking chances

But they're worth taking

Lovin' might be a mistake 

But it's worth making 

Don't let some hell bent heart 

Leave you bitter 

When you come close to selling out

Reconsider 

Give the heavens above

More than just a passing glance 

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance 

I hope you dance 

Life is short, enjoy it.

People come into your life, love them.

Never lose your hunger for adventure and knowledge.


Always look at the world with wonder and amazement.

The world is a beautiful place and has soooo much to offer :)

Quote of the Day

Who wants to go on an adventure with me? 


I'm pretty fun :)

You are enough

Life is hard sometimes.

Especially in those awkward teenage years, when you are trying to discover who you are, and where you fit in this crazy world.

You ask yourself.....

Am I artsy, am I witty, am I popular?

Why do we have to have labels? 

Why can't we just be ourselves?

Why can't I just be Ashley?

A girl that loves laughter and loves her friends and family with her whole heart.

A girl that hates snakes, sweet potatoes, and waking up early.

but

Loves fro-yo, love stories, and music....lots of music.

Since when does everything have to have a title or secret meaning?

I hated hearing people in school classified as "nerds" or "goody-two shoes".

Is it not possible for someone to be fun and smart?

Or genuine and outgoing?

I believe that this is possible.

We are limitless by design. It is only when we start to put labels on people that we limit ourselves and our capabilities.

You are enough.

You are fun, smart, brave, creative, loyal, beautiful, and unique.

You are anything you want to be.

That is the beauty of this world; of this country.

If you do not like something about yourself, change it!

But change it because you want to. Not because you feel pressure to be like everyone else.

We need more trendsetters....and less followers


....Well, minus being followers of Christ, laws, and all that jazz.....but you get my point!

{WARNING: YOU ARE ABOUT TO HEAR AN EXTREMELY CATCHY SONG}

If you cannot handle sugary-sweet bubble-gummy pop music that makes you wanna dance, do not listen. 

Ummmm.....does anyone know where I can get my hands on some sparkly headphones like those?! They are legittttt.

Seriously though, I know that for me....music totally has the ability to change my mood. 

If I am feeling grumpy or lazy, turning on some tunes never fails to get me hyped and ready for the day.

I especially love the last part of the song where she says:

"this ain't the first time you've felt like this....this ain't the last time you'll feel like this....but it'll be fine, if you can just smiiile".

Now I know that sometimes it is easier said than done. 

It is easy to say "just change your attitude and you'll feel better".

The truth is though......you will feel better if you can just smile.

Find a way to break away from the situation you are in.

Punch your pillow a few times, scream as loud as you can, then walk away.

Turn on some feel good tunes...and rock out.

A few of my current feel good faves are:

1. Good life= OneRepublic (You just know it's gonna cheer you up! It says "good life" in the title!)

2. Tonight, Tonight= Hot Chelle Rae (The quintessential summer song)

3. Summer Girl= Leighton Meester (This will solve your boy woes..just grab your best gal-pal and partayyyyy)

4. Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall= Coldplay (Such a great beat)

5. Stereo Hearts= Gym Class Heroes and Adam Levine (After you're done getting your previously mentioned boy woes out....this song will remind you that there are sweet boys still out there)

We all deserve to feel important and happy......so start today.

And if all else fails, know that I love ya like crazy and that you've always got a friend here.

Quote of the Day

Have a nice, safe weekend. Party extra hard for me :)

You're NOT all that and a bag of chips

Hey kiddos.

I hope you enjoyed your first day of school as much as I did.

Yesterday, I was feeling kinda weird about starting school again.

This morning though, I was excited and once I stepped foot on campus, boy you better believe I felt instantly at home.

There is something calming about passing the statue of the Native American on campus, or seeing the familiar domes of the Library. 

I LOVE everything about BYU's campus. 

I love the beautiful flowers, the shining people, and the peace that I feel there.

I guess I sometimes take my education and where I am receiving it for granted.

I realized this while talking to one of my best friends. Shyler is staying home this year and attending a college in California. She has been so sad lately and texts me about how much she misses BYU.

She misses the people, the standards, and more importantly, the spirit that is felt there.

Now, just a little disclaimer:

There are some meanies on BYU campus.

I'm talking about the snooty, high-maintenance girls that look at the boy with pimples in their classes and immediately look away as if he has the plague. 

The people that bump into you without saying sorry, or even looking back.

Seeing this happen is the worst kind of torture for me because everyone deserves to be treated as a person.

Everyone deserves to been seen. To be acknowledged.

Today, I had soooo many things to do.

I stood in a bunch of lines but you know what? I had a great time.

In every line that I stood in today, there was a guy in front of me that started up a conversation with me.

Now, let me just tell ya...it was so stinkin' hot in Provo today so I felt like a sweaty, melty mess. I chock this male attention up to friendliness. 

I made an effort to smile. An effort to connect to people and show them that even though we are strangers, we can still appreciate each other.

Life is too short to be snooty. We all have talents and gifts, but we need to remain humble. Even if you consider yourself to be the hottest thing on the planet, please be kind.

There are plenty of attractive people of this planet but a truly beautiful person uplifts others, instead of tearing them down. 

So, girl that literally shoved me out of her way to get past me in the hall of a building today....bless your little heart. 

I forgive you.

Do you guys wanna see my new room?

Here's my side of the room

Don't pictures just make a space homey?

Here's the paper banner that I made a while back....do your remember it? Easy peasy :)

You all see that "A" in the corner? I made that little beauty a little while ago and I'm hoping that having it on the desk will motivate me to get lots of A's.

Here is our connecting bathroom....it needs a little lovin'...but it will be cute in no time.

So there you have it.

Hopefully I will post pictures of the rest of the apartment soon. It is still under Operation Beautify :)

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I hope you guys had a great first day of school :)

Complications

I am ticked...seriously ticked. But mostly confused, worried, and anxious.

A few weeks ago, I was still on the hunt for a summer job. I was a nanny last summer and in addition to being able to interact with kids, I made good money. So, this was of course my go-to job this summer. I contacted a couple and I started talking to them through email. The mom asked for my number and told me that she would call me to follow-up. The call never came. Instead, she kept emailing me. She interviewed me through email and explained to me that her family is currently in England. She told me that they would be arriving back to the States within a week, and that they wanted to find a nanny before they arrived home. More emails were sent back and forth and I was informed that I got the job. I was very taken aback by the fact that I was hired over email, without them even meeting me. I guess I brushed this aside because I was soooo relieved to finally have a job. In addition to the weird fact that I was hired over email, the emails themselves were weird. I thought that the parents were from England, so I just assumed the reason why I would receive emails saying "my spirit goes for you", or "I want you to know that you have to be of good behaviors and also very much upright and never to let this opportunity become a pain for us as we do intend to give you our best support as family and we need same support from you as well", and my favorite "till I hear from you again, stay great always" was because they were British....I thought that the weird grammar and sentences were just British slang (please don't laugh at me....I'm feeling reallyyyy stupid right now just thinking about all of this!)

Needless to say, they are not actually from England...they are just strange. The second red-flag came when she informed me through instant messages to my phone (soooo weird!) that her email had been hacked. This freaked me out because I had given her my address and phone number (she wanted to send me my first week's pay since her husband would be out of town)and now some random person had access to that. She informed me that to solve the problem, she wanted us to have a code so that I could know that I was actually speaking to her....that's right people, a code. I was confused at how having a code solved the problem. Obviously this person could still access her email. I did not understand why she would not just get a new email. But, I did not want to be difficult and once again, I was thrilled to have a job, so I went along with her stupid code.

The next problem was that the start date kept being postponed. I was supposed to start last week, but then I was informed that they were still in England. Then she told me that they would be back by today. Then, I asked her if I would start tomorrow, and I learned that they are still in England. She would never give me a straight answer...only that it would be this week.

The last straw came today when I received my check. The amount of the check totaled $2,400. This was strange because we agreed that I would be paid $600 a week. After seeing the check I assumed that maybe they just decided to give me the first months pay. Later, she again texted me to make sure that I had gotten the check. I asked her about the extra money and asked if I was being paid for the whole month. That is when she dropped the bomb that the extra money was for her family's airfare back to the states...say what?!?! I calmly texted her back saying that I was confused about why that money was on my check. Was she expecting me to arrange her family's travel? She informed me that she wanted me to cash it, take my first week's pay out of it, and then send the rest of the money to her sister in Ohio via Western Union. What. The. Heck.

After talking to my parents, we agreed that this whole situation was very fishy. The fact that I have never spoken to them on the phone or seen them face-to-face...coupled with the fact that I was now acting as their personal bank just became way too weird. I explained to her that I did not feel comfortable doing this and that I would have to decline taking the job as well. I asked her what she would like to have done with the check and told her that I would do what I could to help her with that.

My stomach is sooo full of knots. I know that I made the right decision to not take the job, but at the same time I am worried. I am worried about finding another job for a short period of time. I am worried about how I am going to pay for tuition, rent, food, and books. I am worried that I am not going to be able to go back to school in the fall. I guess I am just feeling like everything that could go wrong in my life lately has been going wrong. Of course, I keep reminding myself that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, and that I just need to have faith. I just need to keep trying and trust that my diligence will pay off.

Quote of the Day

Do you think I am crazy for turning down the job? What would you have done?

I am HOT stuff

So...I pretty much have 4 boyfriends. Did I mention that they are all cute, smart, creative, loyal, and pay me many compliments?...Well, they do, and you better believe I love every single one of them. On a scale of 1-10, how jealous are you of me right now?

Before you hate me too much, you should probably hear the rest of the story.

You see, these important men in my life are about 4 years old and are in my Primary Class. I know, I know....my love life stinks right now. Is it weird that I kind of love it when they fight over who gets to sit in my lap, or talk to me? Is it weird that I look forward to seeing the cute pictures they draw, or the way their little eyes light up when I do something silly. I love all of these things, because they show me that I am making a difference in their lives. They show me that I have become a person they can trust; a person that they look forward to seeing every week....and let me tell you, a child's trust is a precious thing to gain.

Today, Caleb, one of my little men turned to me and said "I heart you". I thought that I had misheard him, so I asked him to repeat himself. He again said, "I heart you" and then told me that his mom says that to him and that it means "I love you". I started laughing and told him that "I heart him" too. You see, in a 4 year-old's world, it is not scary or taboo to tell someone that you love them. Teaching these kids makes me sad about a few things. I am sad that in order to be considered an adult, we need to give up on some of the things we did, or believed in as a child. I think that boys are particularly affected by this, and not always in a positive way.

Think about it. When boys are little, it is not weird for them to tell a girl that they like her, or that she is pretty. Little kids always have "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" because they are not afraid to let someone know how they feel. When little boys are upset, they do not have a problem telling you about what made them sad, nor do they feel ashamed for crying. It is only as they get older and are taught what "real-men" should behave like, that they sometimes lose those important qualities. Suddenly, it is not manly to commit, express yourself, or cry. I hate this way of thinking. I want my future husband to be comfortable expressing his fears, dreams, and successes with me. I want him to know that he can be vulnerable, that we can help each other. He does not have to be completely together 100% of the time because I sure as heck wont!

I think that it is important to teach boys that being a man is about more than being physically tough. Being a man involves being honest, compassionate, loyal, hard-working, and genuine. As far as emotions go, I better at least see my hubs cry the day of our wedding, when children are born, and when he laughs :)

So, as girls, the next time we get frustrated at a guy's lack of communication when it comes to feelings, or at how long it takes him to say that important three -word sentence...maybe we should think that just like we have to learn to trust him not to break our heart, he has to learn to trust us with his. He has to know that we will not think less of him for being himself and for being imperfect.

This real-man is not only an amazing country singer, he is a hot dad :)

How precious is this?!

Quote of the Day

Sorry for babbling...I was just really struck by this thought today. What do you think? I'd love to know!

Perspective

Today, I have been thinking about perspective. Every situation can be viewed in soooo many different ways, depending on your attitude. I myself suffer from Obsessive Over-thinking Disorder, also known as OOD (I promise, this is a legit disorder..look it up)because I am sometimes so anxious to catalog my experiences into "good" or "bad" categories. But you know what?.... an experience can totally be both!

Today, I put the idea of perspective into play as I watched an episode of "The Office". In this episode, Pam and Jim are dating other people. There is a scene where you can tell that Pam is really missing Jim and wanting to be close to him. I found myself actually speaking to the t.v screen as I reassured Pam that everything would be alright. I told her not to worry...that she and Jim end up getting married and having a baby. Something that was temporarily hard and sad became something beautiful..at least as beautiful as a fictional story can be!

It is just so amazing to think that we never know where life is taking us. So much can change in a year, a month, or even a day! When you find yourself in a bad situation, you can either dwell on the negatives, or view it as a chance to grow. You better believe that there is always an opportunity to grow because with pain comes growth...without fail.

I like to keep everything in perspective by writing letters to myself. I shared one of these letters with you guys a few posts back. Well, I have since found a handy-dandy website that allows you to write letters to yourself and have them delivered to you via email on any date and year that you would like. How cool is that?! I went ahead and wrote a letter to myself detailing my current decisions, likes, dislikes, ect, and requested to have it delivered in two-years time. I love that it will be like a time-capsule :) So, be cool like me and head on over to futureme and get writin'!

Quote of the Day

Good Life

Yesterday, I was feeling very stressed out...like pull-my-hair-out stressed.

Lately, I have been trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for tuition and all of my living expenses at school. I have been feeling like nothing is working out.

Deep down I know this is not true. I have so much to be thankful for.

I look at other people that are struggling with so much, and I get angry at myself.

I get angry that I am sitting around feeling sorry for myself when there are families that have a loved one risking their life to protect our freedom.

I get angry at myself when I see ads for starving children. Really, I have been so blessed.

I now have a job, which I am SO incredibly grateful for.

In spite of knowing that things could be much worse, I still found myself feeling down.

I was on my way to pick up one of my bestest friends Holly for an evening out, when the song "Good Life" by OneRepublic came on. I love this song because it just makes me feel like I can do anything.

is so optimistic. I turned the volume up and felt exhilaration and motivation coursing through my veins. I sang at the top of my lungs and ignored the stares that I was getting from passing cars. Do you know what happened? I felt better! My stress melted away and I felt at peace.

When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over

when everything is out, you gotta learn to take it in.

Oh this has gotta be the good life this has gotta be the good life this could really be a good life, good life Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight like this city is on fire tonight this could really be a good life a good, good life

So whenever you are having a bad day, can you do me a favor?

Find this song, turn it up...and breathe.

I also recommend singing....VERY loud singing...and if that doesn't work, seeing "X-Men First Class" with a good friend may cure what ails ya :)