Embrace your imperfections

So, as you probably already know from reading my blog, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

I am so grateful for my Church and for the blessing that it is in my life.

Today at Church, we talked about tender mercies.

For me, tender mercies can be defined as little miracles in your life that help you to know that God is real, and that he is mindful of you.

Perhaps you are having a really hard day and you get a surprise sweet text message from a friend with words of encouragement.

Coincidence, or tender mercy?

Many of you might be thinking, "tender mercy?! You're on crack. That is totally a coincidence". 

For me, something as simple as that is a mini-miracle in my life because it shows me that I am important.

Even if the rest of the world cannot see or appreciate me, I am worthwhile. I am enough.

I am loved and watched over by someone who died to know me.

Someone that sacrificed everything.

A girl at Church shared an experience of coming home late one night during the semester. She was really upset about something that had happened that day.

Her roommates were all asleep, so she just sat in her living room and cried. 

She felt really alone and insignificant.

Soon, she heard the buzz of her phone and wondered who would be texting her at 3 am.

She looked down and it was a message from her dad.

His message contained two words : "Be Strong".

He did not know what was going on in her life at that moment.

He was awakened by a thought that he needed to reach out to his daughter.

So that is what he did.

He did not know the situation, he did not understand why he needed to reach out to her, he just did.

However simple the words, they made all of the difference to her in that moment.

She felt loved. She felt strong.

I am grateful for the tender mercies in my life.

I am grateful for the kindness of friends and strangers.

I am grateful that I can find a silver lining to any day.

However awful a day may be, there are always tender mercies. 

Maybe a cute boy smiled at you as you walked by, or someone complimented you on your outfit.

Maybe someone dropped off warm cookies at your house, or gave you some love in the form of a warm hug.

The tender mercies are there, you just have to look for them.

If all else fails, try to be a tender mercy in someone else's life.

That my friends is the best day brightener of all.

This couple's tender mercy came in the form of a child.

They struggled with infertility and found their answer through a prompting to adopt a child.......

Doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Quote of the Day

Haha if only life was that simple :)

Open Hands

Have you ever experienced something that hurt so much, you never thought you'd make it through?

Perhaps a day, week, month, or year where you could not break through the darkness to see light.

We have all had these moments in our lives and they are not fun.

They are painful.

I was reminded of this fact today as I read one of my favorite blogs, The Wiegands.

This sweet family is experiencing a major loss. The loss of their sweet unborn child.

As I read their story, I found myself crying hot tears for this family that I do not even know. 

I was also inspired. 

I am inspired by this momma's strength and faith.

Casey Wiegand is amazing and wrote one of my all-time-favorite blog posts entilted "Rough Starts". You should all check out her blog. She is beautiful, pure, and honest.

She talks about holding onto things with open hands.

She shared a beautiful quote that I have loved ever since I first read it on her blog.

"When a woman has a kingdom heart, she has an active understanding of what matters most to the heart of God. She lives in the balance of passion and contentment. She learns to love well, give without regard to self, and forgive without hesitation. The woman with a kingdom heart may have a duffel bag full of possessions or enough treasures to fill a mansion, but she has learned to hold them with an open hand. Hold everything with open hands. I don't think we are ever allowed to grab hold of anything or anyone as though they matter more than the kingdom of heaven. When you hold relationships with open hands, then people come in and out of your life as gifts of grace to be cherished and enjoyed, not objects to be owned and manipulated. And then when you hold your dreams with open hands, you get to watch God resurrect what seemed dead and multiply what seemed small."

I am desperately striving to have a "kingdom heart".

Our talents are not ours. 

Our loved ones are not ours.

The Lord gives, and the Lord can take.

We are blessed beyond measure to be able to have the friends and loved ones that we do.

Having open hands does not mean that we cannot grieve. A strong person is allowed to feel broken at times.

Open hands mean that we rely on the Savior. We count on him to see us through and to have our best interest in mind, even if we do not understand.

We trust that he loves us enough to give us the trials that we need to grow, but also to enfold us in his love as we suffer through them.

I love the Lord.

I am grateful for my life; good and bad.

As you suffer or watch friends, or loved ones suffer....please remember that pain is personal, but also universal.

Even if you cannot understand exactly how another person is feeling, you can have empathy.

You can remember your own moments of pain and be a source of comfort and strength.

Ultimately, the only person that can truely understand our pain is the Savior.

So, take your pain, your heartache, and your joy and give them to the Lord. Counsel with him about your struggles.

He knows what to do with them.

Quote of the Day

Life is uncertain. But the Savior is constant.

Please keep the Wiegands in your prayers. 

"Jesus loved everyone...so we should too".

Today in Church, we had testimony meeting. I always love the first Sunday of the month because I get to hear cool stories, beliefs, and anecdotes. I always end up crying at some sweet story that someone has shared, or inspired by the kindness and sincerity of another. 

One of the missionaries got up to bear his testimony and it was simple, but complete perfection. He spoke about being from a small town in Idaho. He said that one of the things that he loves about this area is that we are all extremely close. I loved that because he is from a small town, but he was still able to get that feel here, even though he is only a few miles from D.C. He was so grateful for how much the members of my ward love each other and how we reach out to help everyone. Then, he simply ended his testimony by saying that he loves being a missionary and getting to love others because "Jesus loved everyone, so we should too!" 

How basic, but often forgotten is that? I feel like soooo many people have attitudes and think they are the best thing since sliced bread. They look at others that do not have the same expensive clothes that they do, or are not as attractive as they are and they instantly become snooty. I HATE this so much because we are all people. We all have our gifts and abilities and contribute to the world in some way. 

There is a girl that I have been friends with at Church since I was seven. Her name is Andrea and she is severely handicapped. She is beautiful. She is the sweetest, happiest girl I have ever known. Growing up, I noticed that she was different, but I was never afraid of her. I was glad to call her my friend and sit next to her. 

As we got older, I noticed that others sometimes were not as quick to include her. They were not intentionally rude to her, but they did not understand that their actions made her feel less important, less loved. Andrea is very affectionate and loves to give hugs and hold your hand. I would watch as she would try to make contact with other kids and my heart would hurt as I saw her rejected. 

Let me just tell you all something. I cannot stand when I see anyone ostracized, especially someone with a handicap. My blood literally boils. 

In High School, I was a Peer Tutor to a disabled child in my school. Once a week, we would get together and do an activity together. We went to the mall, watched movies, and played with legos :) 

I like to think of it this way: God gave handicaps to people that were strong enough, brave enough, and spiritual enough to handle them. He does not love Andrea any less than he loves me. She is perfect to him and you better believe that she is loved.

On my first Sunday in my ward since I arrived home from College, Andrea spotted me. She jumped up and came running towards me saying "Ash-wee, ash-wee". We hugged and it was just like we were kids again. Of course, a part of me aches for her and for her parents. We are both 20 now, but mentally and emotionally, Andrea is no older than 5. She will never get married, have children, or be able to live on her own. 

Her mother watched us in awe as we talked. She told me that every now and then, Andrea mentions me. You see, Andrea can speak, but it is not very clear. Somehow, I have always been able to understand her and translate. It has never been an issue. I cannot tell you how loved I felt that even though she has not seen me for about 5 years...she still remembers me. That is what friendship is. That is what love is.

I am not perfect....by anyyyyy means, but I am working on it. One of my main goals in life is to love and help others. We are all human and we all want to be loved. 

Quote of the Day

Let's all love each other and be kind! Life is too short and guilt lasts too long. We will definitely regret those that we hurt, or those that we neglected. I love you all and hope that you have a fantastic week!

"To make you feel my love"

Today I was struck by a quote that was on the program in Sacrament Meeting. The quote is by Joseph B. Wirthlin and he said that “even though the tasks of life become heavy, and although sorrow thrusts a drooping burden upon us, the light that emanates from our Savior beckons us on, undismayed.”

I thought about how the definition of having faith in something is trusting in things that you cannot see. For me, I do not doubt that God is real. For me, that is an absolute. I do not even normally struggle with remembering that Heavenly Father loves me…even when I may be in the midst of trials. But, sure enough, lately I have been lacking faith in his wisdom and in his timing.

I hope that I am not the only stubborn one out there that wants my plans to come together all of the time. I think that of course I know what is best for myself….because the only good things in life are those that you plan and wish to happen. Right? WRONG.

Well, I have definitely started to realize that not everything in life goes as planned, but you know what, sometimes it goes even better than you could have imagined. All of the bad things that I have had to endure in my life have made me stronger, and have taught me life-altering lessons.

That quote was reassuring to me because it lets me know that no matter what, I am loved and looked after. When I can no longer bear the stress and worry, I need to turn it over to the Lord and let him work his magic. I also have to trust that even when I cannot see the path that I should take, he does. When I take a step into the darkness, I will be rewarded with more light and direction.

I do not know about you, but I LOVE music. I love listening to a song that describes my mood, or that puts into words things that I want to say…but don’t know how.

Today, I was listening to the song “Make you feel my love” by Adele and I thought that instead of someone singing it to a boyfriend or girlfriend, it could be like having The Lord sing it to you.

When the evening shadows

And the stars appear

And there is no on

There to dry your tears

I could hold you

For a million years

To make you feel my love

or

I’d go hungry

I’d go black and blue

I’d go crawling

Down the avenue

No, there’s nothing

That I wouldn’t do

To make you feel my love

Isn’t that the best feeling ever? Knowing that there will always be someone that loves you no matter what. Someone that loves you at your weakest, in your imperfections. This Sunday I am grateful for knowing that. I am grateful for unconditional love.

Wow! Sorry for that tirade, I just had to get it all out!

Quote of the Day

I hope my post didn’t seem like a sermon! But how can I not talk about something that brings me sooo much joy?!

Who/What brings you peace?

:)

This is what I look forward to every Sunday:

 

These are some of the cute kiddos that I teach.

This is what my husband has to look forward to someday:

We discovered Freshman Year that my super curly hair is perfect for afro making. Shyler picked out my hair and this was the result….sexy huh?

In all seriousness though….I promise you future husband o’mine that I will not look like this. Ever. I cannot however promise you that I will not have lazy pj days every now and then, that is just asking wayyyy too much.

Quote of the Day

So tell me. What do you look forward to on Sundays?

Growing Pains

As you may have already figured out by reading my “faith” page, I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am so grateful for my faith and for the person that I am because of it. One of the reasons why I am so grateful to be LDS, is that I am constantly inspired by those that I meet to be a better person.

If you want an example of what inspires me, please watch this video :)

Great. Now I'm blubbering like a baby and struggling to see my keyboard. That video gets me every time! But seriously, how can you watch that and not be inspired? I know that if I had been in this man’s shoes, my first impulse would not have been to forgive. I am ashamed to say it….but I would have first been outraged that my family had been taken from me. Then, I would have screamed at him for driving drunk. Next, I would have been soooo filled with anger and hate, that I would want him to suffer as much as I was suffering.

Ok...please don't be afraid of me. I swear that I am a nice person!

Watching that video and hearing stories about other’s who find forgiveness inspires me. I want to learn how to be more forgiving. I want to learn when to let something go and just put it in someone else’s hands. Isn’t this the point of living though? How boring would the world be if everyone stayed the same? Instead, we get to learn from each other and grow.

Sometimes growing hurrrrts. Life is not always rainbows and butterflies. But you know what? You better believe that the most painful moments are what help us to grow the most. I know that for myself, when I have gotten over something awful, I always feel stronger. I am amazed that I have gotten through something that I felt sure would break me.

I just saw this video today and I instantly loved it.

Can you imagine being his wife and getting that phone call? How cute was he to be so polite and sweet, even though he was experiencing one of the worst days of his life? I loved that he asked his wife how she was doing and tried to remain calm and strong for her. Let me just say that if I had been in his position, I would not have been so calm, or polite. Also, how adorable is his little fam?!

I want to know what inspires you. Who/what makes you want to be a better person?

Quote of the Day

Let's let it strengthen us, okay?

* If you want to see more inspirational videos, or learn more about what I believe, please go here :)

I am HOT stuff

So...I pretty much have 4 boyfriends. Did I mention that they are all cute, smart, creative, loyal, and pay me many compliments?...Well, they do, and you better believe I love every single one of them. On a scale of 1-10, how jealous are you of me right now?

Before you hate me too much, you should probably hear the rest of the story.

You see, these important men in my life are about 4 years old and are in my Primary Class. I know, I know....my love life stinks right now. Is it weird that I kind of love it when they fight over who gets to sit in my lap, or talk to me? Is it weird that I look forward to seeing the cute pictures they draw, or the way their little eyes light up when I do something silly. I love all of these things, because they show me that I am making a difference in their lives. They show me that I have become a person they can trust; a person that they look forward to seeing every week....and let me tell you, a child's trust is a precious thing to gain.

Today, Caleb, one of my little men turned to me and said "I heart you". I thought that I had misheard him, so I asked him to repeat himself. He again said, "I heart you" and then told me that his mom says that to him and that it means "I love you". I started laughing and told him that "I heart him" too. You see, in a 4 year-old's world, it is not scary or taboo to tell someone that you love them. Teaching these kids makes me sad about a few things. I am sad that in order to be considered an adult, we need to give up on some of the things we did, or believed in as a child. I think that boys are particularly affected by this, and not always in a positive way.

Think about it. When boys are little, it is not weird for them to tell a girl that they like her, or that she is pretty. Little kids always have "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" because they are not afraid to let someone know how they feel. When little boys are upset, they do not have a problem telling you about what made them sad, nor do they feel ashamed for crying. It is only as they get older and are taught what "real-men" should behave like, that they sometimes lose those important qualities. Suddenly, it is not manly to commit, express yourself, or cry. I hate this way of thinking. I want my future husband to be comfortable expressing his fears, dreams, and successes with me. I want him to know that he can be vulnerable, that we can help each other. He does not have to be completely together 100% of the time because I sure as heck wont!

I think that it is important to teach boys that being a man is about more than being physically tough. Being a man involves being honest, compassionate, loyal, hard-working, and genuine. As far as emotions go, I better at least see my hubs cry the day of our wedding, when children are born, and when he laughs :)

So, as girls, the next time we get frustrated at a guy's lack of communication when it comes to feelings, or at how long it takes him to say that important three -word sentence...maybe we should think that just like we have to learn to trust him not to break our heart, he has to learn to trust us with his. He has to know that we will not think less of him for being himself and for being imperfect.

This real-man is not only an amazing country singer, he is a hot dad :)

How precious is this?!

Quote of the Day

Sorry for babbling...I was just really struck by this thought today. What do you think? I'd love to know!

Called to serve

Today I am so grateful for missionaries. I am grateful for their sacrifice and testimonies. Today, we taught our CTR 4 class about missionaries. We called one of the fathers of a little boy in our class and asked him if he could bring his missionary tag to Church. When it was time for our object lesson, we "randomly" chose the little boy whose father gave us the tag, to come to the front to be our class missionary. His face lit up as he looked down and saw his father's tag on his shirt. I do not know why, but when I looked at this sweet little boy bearing the tag of "Elder Call", I got kind of choked up. I thought about how he too would someday wear a missionary tag and like his father, serve an honorable mission. I looked at the faces of all of the kids and could not help but laugh as they all jumped up and down saying "I'm gonna be a missionary too....me too!".

I am beyond grateful to belong to a Church that brings me so much joy. I love seeing that joy help and uplift others. I love that the Church is so service-oriented, that we believe in not just helping ourselves, but helping others. Watching my kids get excited about missionary work made me excited. I hope that I can gain even a little of their pure enthusiasm.

Today was also sort of a restless day. All of the kids were kind of hyper and clingy. I had about 5 different kids on my lap during the course of the day. Even though it was frustrating to have to constantly coax and convince a child that primary is in fact fun, and that it is not acceptable behavior to strip down naked (yes....I know, I'm a mean teacher) I couldn't help but melt as they would look up to me and smile, or play with my hair. I realized that these moments are what make up my heaven-on-earth. These moments make me happy to be alive. I feel so accomplished when I teach them something about Jesus, or when they can answer questions and I can tell that their parents are teaching them at home.

I challenge everyone to look for ways to help others. Whether it be through a phone-call, a note, or maybe a fresh batch of cookies :) Let those that you love, feel your love! Don't assume that they know how special they are to you, show them.

To find out more about missionaries, you can go here. Happy Sunday :)

We must be as little children.....

My current calling in Church is to be an Assistant Teacher in my mom's CTR 4 class. All I can say is that I LOVE it :) I love children and not surprisingly, I love spending all of my time with them. They have such a unique way of looking at the world. They make me more excited about life, because I get to experience childhood again. I get to see the world through their eyes...and that is truly amazing. I can see, now more than ever, why we are asked to be like little children. In primary, we have been working on learning the hymn "Praise to the Man". The music leader has been using tons of creative activities to help them learn the song. My favorite and perhaps the most memorable way occurred today. A man in my ward knows how to play the bagpipes. It was announced to the kids that we were going to have a very special musical instrument to listen too. Brother Kemper arrived, all decked out in a kilt and other Scottish attire. He then proceeded to play "Scotland the Brave", or as we know it, "Praise to the man". The little ones were taken aback by the loud sound of the bagpipes. I was waiting for the Bishop to come in at any moment to tell us to be quiet! It was probably one of the best things that I have experienced. We marched and sang along with the bagpipe and everyone was grinning ear-to-ear. It made me feel so grateful for the gospel and extremely grateful for the faithful farm boy that courageously restored it. I am so grateful for children and for the simple and sweet testimony that they have of the Savior and of his love for them. I cannot wait to have my own (6...14...1,000) kids :) I want a houseful of rambunctious, loving, and faithful children. I cannot wait to teach them and raise them alongside my future husband. I will teach them as I have been taught and hopefully, help to raise another generation of faithful, hardworking people.