A sniffley Saturday

I’m going to let ya’ll in on a little secret….but only if you promise not to tell, or judge me! 

I want you to cross your heart and swear to die. Ok, here it goes…….

I am an emotional weirdo… There, I said it.

I’m the type of girl that cries from Hallmark commercials. The type of girl that melts at the sight of a baby, or an elderly couple still madly in-love. I cry at the drop of a hat….and I am not ashamed to admit that I cried at the end of “Ice Age”. If you are wondering what there is to cry about in that movie, the answer is…when the animals say goodbye to the little baby at the end. tear.

So keep this information in mind, as I paint a picture for you.

It is a rainy Saturday afternoon and I am sitting on the couch all warm and snuggly in my pjs. For the sake of me not feeling too lazy let’s just tell a little white lie and say that it is 12 pm because I surely would not still be in my pjs at 4:30 in the evening……ahem, back to the story.

I turn on the t.v. and start flipping through the channels. My go-to show, “Say Yes To The Dress” is unfortunately M.I.A, so my next show of choice is “One Born Every Minute”, a show about babies :)

*Remember, you made a promise not to judge me….this includes thinking that I’m a weirdo….mkay?)

So, I’m watching the show, ooooing and ahhhhing over the adorable babies, when all of a sudden, my emotionometer starts to rise. You see, on the show, they are featuring a woman that is giving her twin babies up for adoption. The adoptive parents are pacing the hospital hallways,  both anxious and scared to death. They are sooo excited to meet their new babies, but terrified that the mom may change her mind about giving the babies up. This sweet couple had been married for 15 years and had been struggling for 13 years with infertility.  I found myself transfixed, offering up a silent prayer in my heart that the birth mom would help this couple make their dreams a reality, as if my wishing would help...after all, it was a pre-recorded t.v. show!

When the moment of truth came, the babies were lovingly given to this adoptive couple. They broke down in tears as their new little boy and girl were placed in their arms. They whispered their gratitude and sobbed as they hugged this young mother that had just given them the best gift they had ever been given. The gift of life. The gift of a family. I. lost.it. My emotions reached their limit and I could not control the tears any longer.

You see, I am a Family Studies major, and I am seriously considering becoming a Social Worker. I myself am adopted and if you missed that part of my story, you can check it out here. I have a major testimony of adoption and of how great it can be. Watching this show solidified my dream of someday becoming a Social Worker. I thought about how hard it must have been for that woman to give up her children. 

You could see the pain on her face as she said goodbye to them. Even though it was hard, she did it because she knew she could not provide those babies with what they needed. She gave them up because she loved them and wanted a better life for them.

I have recently decided that if possible, I would love to adopt someday. I want to of course have my own biological children, but I want to make a difference in the world by adopting a child in need.

I guess I never really thought about how hard it must have been for  my birth mom to give me up for adoption. Granted I was not a baby when I was adopted, but I think that makes the situation even harder. My birth mom had time to get to know me. I feel like I have spent so much of my life resenting her. I have resented the fact that she made the choices that she did. Even though I am happy with the way my life has turned out, I guess I sometimes wonder what could have happened if my birth mom could have made things work.

So, today I cried out of happiness for others, and out of forgiveness and gratitude. You see, today, for the first time, I  truly recognize how grateful I am for what my birth mother did. I am grateful that although she could not love me in the way that I needed, she loved me the best that she could. She loved me enough to give me the chance to be loved and to have a great life. For that, I will be eternally grateful.

Wow. Sorry for the length and heaviness of this post…I did not see that coming!

On a lighter note, here is a picture of my family circa 2000…my dad still had hair!

* I know that for some reason I am not smiling...but I assure you...I was happy :)

Quote of the Day

Please tell me that I am not the only emotional basket-case. What crazy thing do you find yourself tearing up at? Come on, you can tell me! Secrets are best shared among friends :)